A Silver of Hope
by daisydoctor13
Summary: Serena returns from sabbatical with a new look which leaves Bernie a bit flustered


**A/N: Posted a while ago on AO3, I'm currently uploading my other fics onto here.** **Based on a tumblr post about Bernie seeing Serena's new hair and being flummoxed, basically just a fluffy little oneshot, written when we knew Bernie was leaving, but not where she would go. Enjoy :)**

Bernie paced up and down on the platform, checking her watch and the announcement board every few seconds, desperate for the time to be going quicker. She was full of nervous energy and anticipation. She'd waited 10 months, what was another 10 minutes?

The past two weeks had dragged, ever since Serena had told her over a very tearful phone call, that she was ready to come home. They had kept in touch, texting every day and calling when time zones and Bernie's shifts allowed. Bernie had kept the conversations light, not wanting to let on just how much she was struggling without Serena. She couldn't put that pressure on her to come back before she was ready.

She had told her about Jasmine and the trauma unit, how Nina and Guy Self had turned up, hell bent on destroying everything that she and Serena had built together. Serena had told her to stay resilient, when she was back they would be unstoppable.

Neither of them had broached the subject of their relationship, Bernie again not wanting to force Serena into saying things that she thought Bernie wanted to hear. But the constant communication and Serena asking Bernie to pick her up from the station gave her heart hope that they could work it out, find a new normal without Elinor. She couldn't wait to see her again, properly, but she was also terrified. She knew she still loved Serena, but deep down there was still that niggling doubt, what if Serena didn't love her anymore, could they go back to being friends, would Serena have found someone else out travelling, that wasn't a reminder of things in the past?

She could feel the bile rising again, but she was stern with herself. She had no right to feel like this, she would support Serena in whatever way she needed.

The tinny announcement cut through her thoughts, Serena's train was approaching the platform. Bernie stopped still, holding her breath. Holby was a small station and she didn't expect many to be getting off there. The train slowed and screeched to a halt, the doors opened and there she was.

She got off at the other end of the train to where Bernie was standing, but she could see from there that she no longer looked like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. She had tanned slightly and had a relaxed, open face, no tension to be seen. As she got closer, Bernie could see that her face was no longer drawn, she had lost a lot of weight following Elinor's death and seemed a shell of her former self, but now her cheeks were flushed and her gorgeous curves had returned. She looked almost like the Serena she had first met, except for her hair.

Oh, her hair.

She had cropped it even shorter and let the hair dye fade. Her rich, natural brunette was streaked with a silvery grey, the sunlight causing it to shimmer in so many different tones, Bernie wasn't sure there were enough words for all of the colours she could see.

The pixie cut suited her so well. It was slightly ruffled, hair swept backwards from her forehead, with one tiny strand curling forwards.

Bernie felt her bottom jaw drop, she hadn't seen Serena's face in so long. She could just imagine running her hand through her hair, stroking the short strands, how it would look in the breeze, or in the mornings when they woke, sticking up in different directions.

She stared as Serena approached her, wanting to memorise everything about this new, but oh so familiar Serena. She couldn't take her eyes off her hair and she couldn't form any words as Serena smiled broadly at her.

"Hello, you," Serena said, tucking a strand of Bernie's own hair behind her ear, and letting her hand hover, stroking down her jaw line. Bernie just stared, a lump in her throat.

"Hm, charming, you haven't seen me in 10 months and you can't even say hello," she quipped, and Bernie managed to tell her face to smile. Nothing could have prepared her for seeing Serena again, the rush of emotions and longing. She felt flustered, the heat rising in her cheeks. She glanced from Serena's face and then back to her hair.

"Serena, you…your…you look," Serena's face dropped slightly.

"My hair, you hate it don't you? I just, it's gone grey and I thought, new start, let it be natural. Do you think it makes me look old? I'm sure you'd much rather not be seen with someone with grey hair…." Bernie stopped Serena's nervous rambling by pressing their lips together and pulling Serena close, one hand gently caressing the back of her head, pulling her fingers through the delightful shades of silver.

It was a deep, passionate kiss, which she was pleased to note that Serena returned with just as much emotion. She paused and pulled her head back to look Serena straight in the eyes.

"Beautiful," she whispered, resting her forehead against Serena's. "You look beautiful, Serena. Don't think I would ever want to be seen with anyone else, if you still want to be with me. I know this last year has been hard and I will still be here for you, as a friend or more if you still want that."

"I do, Bernie, I want to try again, we never got a proper chance before Elinor,"

"I'd like to try again, too. I never thought I'd say this about anybody, but I want to grow old with you, watch both of us change and go grey and look at each other over the tops of our glasses, complaining about modern technology and the size of print in books."

She could feel the tears travelling down her cheeks, and saw that they matched Serena's. She reached up to wipe them away as Serena chuckled.

"Do you really think we'll be like that?"

Bernie smiled, stroked back the small lock of hair that was over Serena's forehead, and kissed her again, gentle and chaste, then murmured against her lips.

"I hope so."


End file.
